Monday, January 14, 2008

NWC’s 2008 New Year Resolutions:

A small unknown fact is like many people, the football teams in the Northwest Conference also start each new year with a resolution to help guide their next 365 days of existence. Everybody knows that following a resolution is a pine-knot tough thing to do but our programs out in the far west are up to the task.’s investigators were able to uncover these New Year resolutions for the 2008 season and as your independent world wide news leader of all things Linfield football it took a few days to collate this information.

Menlo: To install cup holders in their visitor’s coaching box and to upgrade their sound system.

Since Menlo has to blow a great majority of their budget on flight when the Oaks travel to any away game that leaves very little left over for minor items….like facilities. However, Menlo has committed itself in 2008 to install new cup holders in their scissor lift….er…I mean coaching box and to upgrade their sound system to this sweet new Ipod docking station.

Willamette: The Bearcats 2008 resolution is to milk their first win over Linfield in eight years for everything its worth.

So far, they’re off to a great start with any article on their athletic site that deals with football has to mention their 1-point win over our Wildcats.

Lewis & Clark: Around Christmas, my sources were able to take this photo of a note left for Santa that was found in HC’s Chris Sulages office.

I know, I know…a note for Santa isn’t a New Year resolution but we’re going to go with it.

Puget Sound: To assemble the greatest collection of football talent ever assembled at the Division III level or to at least to maintain their great pre-season rhetoric.

Before the 2007 season, Coach Phil Willenbrock stated that the passing ability of his quarterbacks “is better than any I think I’ve ever had in Division III.” It must be nice to have quarterbacks that can both run and throw the ball. I’m just looking forward to read the UPS season preview this fall where he’s bound to say something along the lines of “our linebackers this year are incredible. Not only can they drop back in pass coverage but they can also play the run too.” The talent at UPS is crazy.

Pacific Lutheran: Start a new facial hair trend in Division 3 football.

The ‘Lutes gained media attention for their fast start and their sweet stashes during 2007. The Lute Seniors have narrowed their 2008 choices down to three: The Van Dyke, The Balbo, and The Napoleon III Imperial.

Whitworth: Deliver Redland’s Coach Maynard a batch of crap cupcakes to open the 2008 season.

As much as I rag on the Rats, they did get hosed by the DIII national selection committee when they were snubbed out of the ’07 playoffs. Redlands and Coach Maynard beat the Rats twice last season. The first time was the Dawg’s 24-12 victory over the Rats to open the ‘07 season and the second time was when Coach Maynard and the National Committee sunk the Rats ship in the playoff selection process.

Linfield: Get back to winning the darn conference.

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